Just the "bear" facts, ma'am

Jack and I were riding peacefully and quietly in the car today when he piped up from the backseat.

J: "Mama? Did you know I was bitten by a bear once?"

R: "Um, no. I did not know that."

J: "Well, I was. It was awful."

R: "When did this happen? Because I wasn't aware of it..."

J: (eagerly warming up to the plot) "Well, Daddy drove me out into the woods a few weeks ago, and there was a giant bear out there, and it BIT ME."

R: (thinking this has moved out of pretend land and into LIAR realm) "I'm pretty sure that didn't happen, because I would like to think that if you'd been bitten by a bear your daddy would tell me about it."

J: "It actually happened, Mama. He had VERY SHARP TEETH."

R: (setting up a trap) "Okay. Then I need to ask your daddy about this, because that's a pretty serious thing to have happen to you. I wonder what your daddy will say when I ask him about the bear biting you?"

J: "Well, he was pretty sad about it when it happened, and he probably won't want to talk about it right now." (dodges the trap!)

R: (thinks)

J: (waits)

R: (decides to fall back on the trusty old STINK EYE maneuver... fixes Jack with STINK EYE) "Jack Henry, are you telling me a lie?"

J: (matter-of-fact, meets STINK EYE with no apparent qualms) "No. I'm really not. I was bitten by a bear in the woods."

R: (flustered)

J: (waits calmly, still meeting STINK EYE with no fear)

R: (brings out the ultimate mother's tool) "All right. Let's just call your Daddy right this very minute and see what he says, okay?" (sits back and waits for a confession)

J: (begins to look a little shifty-eyed, finally) "Okay, but remember that he's VERY sad about it. He might not want to talk about it to you."

R: (fake dials) "Oh, hello Watson. I wanted to call and ask you if you've ever taken Jack into the woods where he was bitten by a bear with very sharp teeth? (pause) Oh, okay. Yes, that's what I thought. Hmm, I'll have to talk to him about telling lies to his mother." (fake hangs up and then turns to look at Jack with eyebrows raised)

J: (shrugs) "He probably just forgot."